Saturday, July 10, 2010

Learn the wisdom of silence...

Pastors who maintain good relationships with their congregations bite their tongues with great regularity. Avoid the temptation to say, "If you had attended the last board meeting/worship service/committee meeting as you were supposed to, you would have known that!"

Or, "Since you know so much about the topic, why don't you preach a sermon series on it." As good as it might feel to make those comments, the pastor pays too high a price in terms of guilt, escalating conflict, and damage to relationships.

R. Robert Cueni, What Ministers Can't Learn in Seminary


  1. True for the lay person, as well.

  2. Cueni is talking about nonreactivity, which -- I agree with Marta -- is a trait that could profitably be practiced by both clergy and lay parishioners. Nonreactivity is an unwillingness to be automatically triggered by an insensitive, rude or offensive remark. It is the hallmark of emotional maturity in lawyers, doctors, auto mechanics and parents, as well as in clergy.