When people are yelling at one another, the reassuring words of the pastor cannot be heard. To state it differently, satisfaction comes to those who wait until the flames have burned to glowing coals. This applies to all domestic quarrels and almost all ecclesiastical battles.
A normal part of church life includes periodic, spontaneous explosions in the choir, the men's group, and between certain church members. Clergy should control the urge to plunge in as mediator. Clergy often have delusions of grandeur when it comes to evaluating their ability as reconcilers. They also have significant difficulty distinguishing when they are actually needed from when they need to be needed.
R. Robert Cueni, What Ministers Can't Learn in Seminary