Pathetic...

I attended services at a large congregation recently. In the section where I was seated, the collection plate was passed along by about 50 people before it reached me. When it did, the plate contained a lone one-dollar bill and some spare change.

This reflects very poorly on a congregation. As a visitor, it made me doubt whether I would want to be part of this church. I urge congregations of all faiths and all sizes to give away the Sunday offering to mission and outreach every Sunday. This is a powerful ministry. Do not let anyone claim your church can't afford it.

Why I stopped going to baseball games...

Every time I went, they asked me for money. The people in the stands didn't seem very friendly. The umpire made some decisions with which I disagreed. Some games went into extra innings, and I was late getting home. They played on weekends, when I rest.

The seats were uncomfortable. The organist played tunes I didn't like. My parents made me go to games when I was a child. I read a book about baseball and know as much as the managers. I shouldn't take my children; when they grow up, they can decide for themselves if they like the sport.

Rev. David Blanchard, in his church newsletter column.

No!

In many long-established congregations, several members of the governing board often define their primary responsibility as telling other people what they cannot do. An alternative to most either-or questions should be, "Why can't we do both?"

Another possibility is preface questions with, "Unless someone objects strongly, this is our plan." Yet another is not to ask for "no" votes. Finally, another method of moving ahead is to claim,"We cannot make an informed decision on this until we've had at least six month's experience with it."

Lyle Schaller, Choices for Churches

Sexy...

What is it about church that is so damn sexy? The question has bugged me for a long time. An erotic current runs just below the displays of rectitude and purity, despite the hard pews and organ repertory. I suspect it has to do with the congregants' concerted effort to suppress carnality in favor of distant heavenly reward. Denying the flesh only makes it throb harder.

Julia Scheeres, in her review of the novel, Jesus Boy. New York Times Book Review, May 16, 2010.

Confession?

I've heard of churches in the South that oblige people to make a public confession of their graver sins to the whole congregation. I think sometimes there might be an advantage in making people aware of how worn and stale these old transgressions are. It might take some of the shine off them, for those who are tempted. But I have no evidence to suggest it has that effect.

Marilynne Robinson, from her Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, Gilead

Ministry today?

A recent profile of pastors suggests that the three most stressful areas of a pastor's life are church politics, financial shortfalls, and difficult relationships with staff and other church officials. In each of these factors, there appears to be little connection with what the core of ministry is supposed to be about in the first place - bringing the presence of God to people who yearn for it.

We must surely be in the throes of a crisis of ministry when the very context of ministry itself is heavily overlaid with countervailing circumstances and debilitating human forces.

Kortright Davis, Serving with Power: Reviving the Spirit of Christian Ministry

Close but not quite...

Readers may recall the story about Mark Twain's hero, Tom Sawyer, and Sunday school. The kid who memorized the most Bible verses each week received a red ribbon. Whoever had the most red ribbons at the end of the year would get special recognition from the Bishop.

Of course, Tom memorized no verses but cheated his classmates out of their ribbons, so he had the most when the Bishop arrived. Tom could answer none of the Bishop's questions. Finally, in exasperation, the Bishop asked, "Can you name any two of apostles?" To which Tom blurted out, "David and Goliath!"